here is am.. another day(correction night) at the office... with absolutely nuthing to do ... my playlist has been played.. my dinner is being digested... FIFA decided not to have any matches today (bastards ! ) ... so wat do i do....?
i log onto google and look for some riddles to solve...
y riddles u ask? well our project lead has started asking us riddles in our mail.. no no not those fun riddles with funny/smart answers.... they are more like very bad rhyming questions with answers related to our work.... and they dont make sense most of the time... anyway todays riddle was :
When there is an issue worry Not
Refer me to get solution On the Spot
now im not really sure of the actual answer.... but i thought i wud be funny and reply with the answer : ME !
i decided against it coz firstly... welll no one wud buy it ... coz i really dont knw anything, secondly ppl might think im acting smart and start asking me questions like they tend to do.. and lastly and most obviously... coz the mail wud go to my PL !!
so i thought hey... there shud be some fun riddles... like the one about the polar bear... u know.. there is a square room.. each wall faces south and a bear walks by.. wats the color of the bear.... i actually found a really funny alternate answer to this one...
"Well, normally I would say white because it is a polar bear. But as we all know, global warming has f*cked them up. So there is no way a polar bear would walk by the house because it is probably dead by drowning.
So I'm going with clear, because it is a dead bear ghost."
and there started my quest of finding a site with riddles so that i cud tp (no u dota freaks... not teleport.... timepass !!! :P ) for a bit...
of course i had to work hard to find a site which had riddles AND was not blocked... luckily i finally found one... its called teacherneedhelp.com ..... firstly...wat sort of a site name is that ?!?!?! anyway the format is ur standard mock test format.... loads of questions on the top of the page and their corresponding answers at the bottom. Thoroughly bored as i was , i tried answering the questions without peeking at the answers first... coz thats wat u do with riddles right .. u try to answer them, though most of them are ur standard questions which u wud have already come across... anyway i came across a few questions whose answers didnt match mine... but i think my answers made sense too ... here are a few examples... :
1. I run, yet I have no legs. What am I?
Ans: A Nose
my ans: an engine
2.They come at night without being called and are lost in the day without being stolen
Ans: Stars
my ans: the Boogie monsters
3.What kind of room has no windows or doors?
Ans: mushroom
my ans: Broom
4.I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?
Ans: a sponge
My ans: (though im still trying to work out the slight glitches) the human body :P
5.It has no top or bottom but it can hold flesh, bones, and blood all at the same time. What is this object?
Ans: a Ring
my ans: (nt sure abt this one either.. still....) a womb ?!?!
6.What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?]
Ans: River
My ans: a mutant/ retard?!?!?
7.What can fill a room but takes up no space?
Ans: light
My ans: the smell of supples socks! (sorry dude... )
8.Jack and Jill are lying on the floor inside the house, dead. They died from lack of water. There is shattered glass next to them. How did they die?
Ans: Jack and Jill are goldfish
My ans: read the question dumbass !!! they died from lack of water !!! and y goldfish anyway? the other fishes have learnt how to survive eh?
9.Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, Even a river can't fill it up. What is it?
Ans: a strainer
my ans: sharads freaking stomach !!! :P :P
10.If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
Ans: none.. rooster dont lay eggs
My ans: but it said that the rooster did lay an egg... in that case its a hermaphrodite type rooster who is cheating on his lover.. !! and wat kind of chicks would hatch u ask ? ...well ... confused,sorry chicks who will surely be bullied later on coz of their parents
11.If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?
Ans: a secret
my ans: a ciggy in h4 !( yeah yeah i knw most ppl dont like to share... but some ppl do !! )
12.What do you fill with empty hands?
Ans:a glove
my ans: ok i swear i have seen this.. ppl stuffing thier hands into their mouths... and their mouths get pretty filled (i have an alternate ans for this... but i guess the ppl who wud understand knw wat im talking abt already ;) )
13.What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
Ans: a yardstick
my ans: O.O !!!
14.What question can you never answer "yes" to?
Ans: are u asleep?
my ans: can England ever win the football world cup?? and for the record... u can answer yes to that question.... ud just be lying !!
15.Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white?" or "The yolk of the egg is white?"
Ans: neither, the yolk is yellow.
My ans: neither ... u r a dumbass !!!
Motas answer: screw all that... is that your egg or mine ? ( in hindi : woh sab chodh... tum woh khaoge kya?)
my personal favourite:.The more you take the more you leave behind.
Ans: footsteps
My ans: a dump !!!!
ahhhhh there ... im done .. thank u for wasting ur time and reading something i typed up to waste time !
and since u ppl hv soo much time on ur hands.... how abt a call once in a while huh ?!?!?!
cheers !!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Murphy u SOB !!!!!
today as i sat at work and chatted with a close frnd (yess thats wat i do at work... i chat... and NO im not being sarcastic... i mean it !! ), the question was put forward(to me, of course), that how come i dont write anymore... and i always give the same lame excuse..."but i dont knw wat to write about .. ". and then she went on to tell me the wonderful blogs she had read and i looked up to the heavens ( yea yea i knw there was a ceiling there, but im sure the big man upstairs has has X ray vision... i mean even james bond has that !!) and wondered y i wasnt given the power to think up of great stuff to write about.... i needed inspiration !!
i dont know wat made him so mad... but he decided to piss inspiration on me !! yes i literally mean piss... i mean only he cudve turned bright & sunny into storm type weather in just an instant.... its just like he was having a beer or two... heard my prayer and said "just u wait young man"... waited for me to get out of my office... opened his fly and went sweeeeee !!!!!
and so as i got drenched from head to toe and then back up to the head .... i started thinking... thinking about a certain murphy and his laws... i disticntly remember this coz this was given to me as a topic to speak on during my first college fest....
the BASIC murphys law states : Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong!
todays scenario (pre-self-damning prayer): bright and sunny day .. a lil bit of cloud cover... but dont think even wasim akram cud get any swing out of it ...
and then i decide to leave office for the day
*sound somewhere around me : TIP TIP TIP
Me : Crap....
and thus began the downpour...
Hence i state Murphys law number 45: if there is even a slight chance of rain, it WILL happen the only time ur actually out in the open.
extention of law 45: it will most likely start as soon as ur out... and stop as soon as ur back in !
and now i shall state the hidden law... known as law number 0... ( and since i discovered it lets call it murphy_screwed_rav law): if u think u cant get hit by murphys law... u will !!!
oh wait im not done !!!
DID YOU KNOW.... today the auto rickshaws in mumbai decided to go on strike??? TODAY .!! of all days ???
and there is born murphys law number 128: the day you are gonna get soaked... is the day u will not find a vehicle to get back home/ auto guys go on strike ( READ: u r screwed!!!)
and here is born... wait for it .... an EXTENTION to the murphy_screwed_rav law.... if u think there is nooo possible way u can get hit by TWO murphy law derivatives in one day... well.. HELL YEAH u can !!!
and just for the record... this goes out to my seniors who taught me a very valuable lesson ... wen rape is inevitable.. lay back and enjoy....
today i knew i was gonna get soaked.. murphy screwed me over ... and u knw wat?? today i DID enjoy getting soaked ( yea yea i can see that grin on ur face nyta !!! :P :P :P )
now i shall leave u guys with a small piece of a conversation i had today :
XXYY: chk this quote out..... "there are gaps between your fingers so someone can fill those gaps ( by holding ur hands i suppose)
ME : naaahhhh.... those gaps are so the other person knows wat ur doing wen u flip him the bird !!!!
i dont know wat made him so mad... but he decided to piss inspiration on me !! yes i literally mean piss... i mean only he cudve turned bright & sunny into storm type weather in just an instant.... its just like he was having a beer or two... heard my prayer and said "just u wait young man"... waited for me to get out of my office... opened his fly and went sweeeeee !!!!!
and so as i got drenched from head to toe and then back up to the head .... i started thinking... thinking about a certain murphy and his laws... i disticntly remember this coz this was given to me as a topic to speak on during my first college fest....
the BASIC murphys law states : Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong!
todays scenario (pre-self-damning prayer): bright and sunny day .. a lil bit of cloud cover... but dont think even wasim akram cud get any swing out of it ...
and then i decide to leave office for the day
*sound somewhere around me : TIP TIP TIP
Me : Crap....
and thus began the downpour...
Hence i state Murphys law number 45: if there is even a slight chance of rain, it WILL happen the only time ur actually out in the open.
extention of law 45: it will most likely start as soon as ur out... and stop as soon as ur back in !
and now i shall state the hidden law... known as law number 0... ( and since i discovered it lets call it murphy_screwed_rav law): if u think u cant get hit by murphys law... u will !!!
oh wait im not done !!!
DID YOU KNOW.... today the auto rickshaws in mumbai decided to go on strike??? TODAY .!! of all days ???
and there is born murphys law number 128: the day you are gonna get soaked... is the day u will not find a vehicle to get back home/ auto guys go on strike ( READ: u r screwed!!!)
and here is born... wait for it .... an EXTENTION to the murphy_screwed_rav law.... if u think there is nooo possible way u can get hit by TWO murphy law derivatives in one day... well.. HELL YEAH u can !!!
and just for the record... this goes out to my seniors who taught me a very valuable lesson ... wen rape is inevitable.. lay back and enjoy....
today i knew i was gonna get soaked.. murphy screwed me over ... and u knw wat?? today i DID enjoy getting soaked ( yea yea i can see that grin on ur face nyta !!! :P :P :P )
now i shall leave u guys with a small piece of a conversation i had today :
XXYY: chk this quote out..... "there are gaps between your fingers so someone can fill those gaps ( by holding ur hands i suppose)
ME : naaahhhh.... those gaps are so the other person knows wat ur doing wen u flip him the bird !!!!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
lets see...
ok for long now i have been wanting to come back to space and post something.. ANYTHING... but have been suffering from... writers block?? i think thats wat they call it... and these cravings only worsened after one certain small creature started spamming his.. and our news feeds with his ramblings...so i decided to do this like i do most things(read EXAMS)... impromtpu.. and that wud also explain my this is titled lets see... coz i soo dont know where this is going... but thats the fun part about it i guess.. not knowing where something is going .. but going with the flow for a lil bit and seeing where u end up..
u know.. the phrase .."lets see"..i get that from my dad... he used to use a lottt when i was a kid .. wenever i wanted something.. he wud argue abt y i didnt need it .. but if i was stubborn.. we wud end the conversation by saying.."lets see"... which i realised..sadly a lil tooo late.. meant that he has already forgotten about it and there is no chnce in hell that im gonna get wat i want ... he had successfully closed the conversation in his favour with me still being hopeful at the end of it !! the only good that came out of that is now i have mastered the use of this phrase... and now use it on him !!! muhahahah....like father like son eh ?
and here i am back to where i had started... so i guess ill close for now.. lets see wat i can come up with in the next hr or so... and for all those ppl who gave me ideas but i said i cudnt write on them.. heres a few lines just so that u ppl dont feel like i ditched... coz im nt JAY :P ( no offence bro.. :D)
internal--->awesome
void--->nuthingness/perma-bash=>imba!cheers
u know.. the phrase .."lets see"..i get that from my dad... he used to use a lottt when i was a kid .. wenever i wanted something.. he wud argue abt y i didnt need it .. but if i was stubborn.. we wud end the conversation by saying.."lets see"... which i realised..sadly a lil tooo late.. meant that he has already forgotten about it and there is no chnce in hell that im gonna get wat i want ... he had successfully closed the conversation in his favour with me still being hopeful at the end of it !! the only good that came out of that is now i have mastered the use of this phrase... and now use it on him !!! muhahahah....like father like son eh ?
and here i am back to where i had started... so i guess ill close for now.. lets see wat i can come up with in the next hr or so... and for all those ppl who gave me ideas but i said i cudnt write on them.. heres a few lines just so that u ppl dont feel like i ditched... coz im nt JAY :P ( no offence bro.. :D)
internal--->awesome
void--->nuthingness/perma-bash=>imba!cheers
Friday, January 15, 2010
CS n all that ....
someone told me... ok screw the secrecy n all .. Mr. Sidhartha Maheswari told me that its easy to write blog posts.. just look around u and write on anything that influences u ... so here goes my post.. dedicated to the wonderful game of Counter Strike
y did i get this sudden itch in my behind to write abt CS( CS is wat counter strike shall be called from now on... just incase u didnt realize :P).. it all started when.. first Syd brought it up but today while i was sitting in the office and going thru my rounds( of CS of course :P).. the guy sitting next to me and asks.."so uve done CS in college right?"... now i sincerely thought he was ridiculing me for spending my college years on the comp playing this game... he cud have easily come up with that conclusion too so i dont blame him( after all.. i was pawning ass !!! MUHAHAHAHA)... so i just laughed n went like " yeah i wish"... as the convo went ahead i realized that he was actually inquiring abt which stream i had in college with no pun intended..( for all u gaming geeks who cant think beyond the game... CS can also stand for computer science engineering... yeah i know,right ?!?! CS should be trademarked or copyrighted or something !!! ) ..anyways so here i am..
it all started when one of my childhood friends comes back from college one year and says" dude this game is the latest craze in our college.. everyone plays it!!! "( i was later to realise "College" actually meant the hostel.. but CS picked up pace when we reached so it was all cool ! ) .... so now here i have in my hand.. a kickass game which can be played over n over.. no start or end levels.. which means.. the gaming never has to stop!!! i knew i was hooked ... he might have as well introduced me to the cigarette!!! and the craze continues!!! thru my 11th n 12th standards... 4 years of college... even at work now !! (hell yeah !!! )
Y CS u ask?? well firstly.. its awesome... and that really shud be the end of the discussion.. but for arguments sake.. lets put forward some points...
firstly. in a place like BIT... we NEEDED CS ok .. like we just did. .coz there wasnt anything to do .. ever!! and seriously any1 and everyone hu was single and in BIT wud agree to this !!!
secondly.... the most ultimate stress buster!! wat better way to ease urself after a shitty paper than to name some lame ass bots after the prof who taught u n then slaughter them in all ways possible !!! the bloody headshots made for really ... umm... for lack of a better word... "soothing" effect !!
thirdly.. great way to broaden ur social network.. i mean i know this lil guy .. and for the most part.. YOU know this guy ... who became like THE MAN in BIT... just coz he was god when he had his gun in his hand...( umm i hope that came out right )... like if u were good.. ppl liked u!! .. i dont know y ... u cud be the most lame n geeky guy .. but if u were good... ppl treated u better :P ...
i can go on . on . on .... so i shall stop... coz im hungry.. n its dinner time ... n my roomate wants the net.. and ... ahhh crap !!! until next time !!
y did i get this sudden itch in my behind to write abt CS( CS is wat counter strike shall be called from now on... just incase u didnt realize :P).. it all started when.. first Syd brought it up but today while i was sitting in the office and going thru my rounds( of CS of course :P).. the guy sitting next to me and asks.."so uve done CS in college right?"... now i sincerely thought he was ridiculing me for spending my college years on the comp playing this game... he cud have easily come up with that conclusion too so i dont blame him( after all.. i was pawning ass !!! MUHAHAHAHA)... so i just laughed n went like " yeah i wish"... as the convo went ahead i realized that he was actually inquiring abt which stream i had in college with no pun intended..( for all u gaming geeks who cant think beyond the game... CS can also stand for computer science engineering... yeah i know,right ?!?! CS should be trademarked or copyrighted or something !!! ) ..anyways so here i am..
it all started when one of my childhood friends comes back from college one year and says" dude this game is the latest craze in our college.. everyone plays it!!! "( i was later to realise "College" actually meant the hostel.. but CS picked up pace when we reached so it was all cool ! ) .... so now here i have in my hand.. a kickass game which can be played over n over.. no start or end levels.. which means.. the gaming never has to stop!!! i knew i was hooked ... he might have as well introduced me to the cigarette!!! and the craze continues!!! thru my 11th n 12th standards... 4 years of college... even at work now !! (hell yeah !!! )
Y CS u ask?? well firstly.. its awesome... and that really shud be the end of the discussion.. but for arguments sake.. lets put forward some points...
firstly. in a place like BIT... we NEEDED CS ok .. like we just did. .coz there wasnt anything to do .. ever!! and seriously any1 and everyone hu was single and in BIT wud agree to this !!!
secondly.... the most ultimate stress buster!! wat better way to ease urself after a shitty paper than to name some lame ass bots after the prof who taught u n then slaughter them in all ways possible !!! the bloody headshots made for really ... umm... for lack of a better word... "soothing" effect !!
thirdly.. great way to broaden ur social network.. i mean i know this lil guy .. and for the most part.. YOU know this guy ... who became like THE MAN in BIT... just coz he was god when he had his gun in his hand...( umm i hope that came out right )... like if u were good.. ppl liked u!! .. i dont know y ... u cud be the most lame n geeky guy .. but if u were good... ppl treated u better :P ...
i can go on . on . on .... so i shall stop... coz im hungry.. n its dinner time ... n my roomate wants the net.. and ... ahhh crap !!! until next time !!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
DEE-TEEEN-SHUN!!!!
I have never really been a troublemaker... throughout my school and college days even ( dont classify me as a nerd yet... i just played by the rules :P :P ) .. and so never really got punished... i mean.. i never got any high profile punishments anyway.. so it was kind of weird when i got my very first DETENTIOn after i joined my dear company... AFTER i joined the "corporate" world...
For me... detention was always that thing i saw on TV or read abt in Archies comics... and i always wondered wat ppl actually did during that time ... Harry potter gave me some insight on that when Mr. four eyes had to help the show off guy with his books( seriously.. im nt too good with names.. so harry potter fans.. im sorry... but i luved the books if it helps in anyway :P)... but nuhting of that sort happened... it was the most weird punishment someone of post-teen years could imagine... we were all called into one class ( yes there were other defaulters... never get into trouble alone!!! ) .. and were made to stare at watever we cud and KEEP QUIET... kind of reminds of punishments in preschool when we were made to stand in the corner and keep mum!!!
yes... somehow.. i am 22 ... and still being treated like a 12 year old... or younger even .. the lack of facilites here really makes me wonder wat life has come to sometimes... i mean ... i am writing this post coz i do not have internet access when i am suppsoed to be doing an assignment online... i mean face it ... we need the net !! even if everything is blocked and its a security violation if u visit sites like... u know.. google ( yeah WTF right ?!?! )... still... we need the net !!! y do we need it ?? well its just like most guys wud like their girl friends to be by their side when they are injured or something(read :bed ridden)... like seriously... thier lil kisses on ur wound aint gonna heal them faster... yet its a psychological thing right ?!?! kinda the same deal !!
heres hoping that we start being treated like adults... coz ppl hv been asking me to "grow up"... and all i can think of right now is .... KYUN???<---(ty ty Chotu ;))
For me... detention was always that thing i saw on TV or read abt in Archies comics... and i always wondered wat ppl actually did during that time ... Harry potter gave me some insight on that when Mr. four eyes had to help the show off guy with his books( seriously.. im nt too good with names.. so harry potter fans.. im sorry... but i luved the books if it helps in anyway :P)... but nuhting of that sort happened... it was the most weird punishment someone of post-teen years could imagine... we were all called into one class ( yes there were other defaulters... never get into trouble alone!!! ) .. and were made to stare at watever we cud and KEEP QUIET... kind of reminds of punishments in preschool when we were made to stand in the corner and keep mum!!!
yes... somehow.. i am 22 ... and still being treated like a 12 year old... or younger even .. the lack of facilites here really makes me wonder wat life has come to sometimes... i mean ... i am writing this post coz i do not have internet access when i am suppsoed to be doing an assignment online... i mean face it ... we need the net !! even if everything is blocked and its a security violation if u visit sites like... u know.. google ( yeah WTF right ?!?! )... still... we need the net !!! y do we need it ?? well its just like most guys wud like their girl friends to be by their side when they are injured or something(read :bed ridden)... like seriously... thier lil kisses on ur wound aint gonna heal them faster... yet its a psychological thing right ?!?! kinda the same deal !!
heres hoping that we start being treated like adults... coz ppl hv been asking me to "grow up"... and all i can think of right now is .... KYUN???<---(ty ty Chotu ;))
Thursday, December 17, 2009
ANNNDDd... im here !!!
ok.. so here i am.. the blogging itch finally got to me .. more from "peer"- poking and the sheer jobless-ness of sitting in a room and stare at a computer screen with nuthing to do on it .. first things first... i shall NOT be as brilliant as Siddhartha Maheshwari coz .. u know... my vocab doesnt go upto 1000000 words... nor do i care abt writing all proper(as u may have made out already :P)... reason?? duhh !! im LAZY !!!(take nuthing away from Syd... he is in his own class) .. i shall also not be as witty as Shoaib Daniyal... who can be ,right ??? i cannot be as insightful as Audreza Das... coz im not that boring..i mean .. i dont have deep thoughts ... and ...yeah i havent really read other blogs so... i just wanna say.. like.. dont expect anything from this blog... and if u find mistakes i nthe formatting, spelling and grammer... well.. good for u *applause!! :P
i guess todays topic has already been touched and brilliantly at that by someone... but u know.. wat the hell !!
Bangalore Traffic - the UnPredictable !
Day 1 - Start point: Marathahalli
End point : Electronic City
Start Time : 7:45 a.m.
Arrival Time: 9:00 a.m.(on TIME !!)
Day 2 - Start Point: Marathalli(if u wondering abt the spelling of the place.. well ppl here are confused too.. so just thought id put in both the spellings)
End Point : Elec. City
Start Time: 7:30 a.m. (got out early coz i didnt have nething to do at home :P)
Arrival Time: 9:16 a.m.( crap!! by 1 lousy minute.. i got detention for this one.. but thats another story)
Day 3 - Start Point: Marathhalli (yesss .. yet another spelling!!)
End Point : guess where ... !!
Start Time: 8:05 a.m. (yeah crap we were LATEEEEE !!!)
Arrival Time: 8:40 a.m. (yeah .. i know right ?!?!)
such is the unpredictabilty of traffic here... and u know.. life in general... i guess wat im trying to say is .. never take life for granted(i guess most ppl already knew that .. still a refresher course never hurt anyone :P).. coz u never know when it will bite u in the.. well.. behind.. and u wud have a large chunk missing... and well ... thts just an uncomfortable sit for the rest of ur life... and im getting carried away.. so like... bye !!
i guess todays topic has already been touched and brilliantly at that by someone... but u know.. wat the hell !!
Bangalore Traffic - the UnPredictable !
Day 1 - Start point: Marathahalli
End point : Electronic City
Start Time : 7:45 a.m.
Arrival Time: 9:00 a.m.(on TIME !!)
Day 2 - Start Point: Marathalli(if u wondering abt the spelling of the place.. well ppl here are confused too.. so just thought id put in both the spellings)
End Point : Elec. City
Start Time: 7:30 a.m. (got out early coz i didnt have nething to do at home :P)
Arrival Time: 9:16 a.m.( crap!! by 1 lousy minute.. i got detention for this one.. but thats another story)
Day 3 - Start Point: Marathhalli (yesss .. yet another spelling!!)
End Point : guess where ... !!
Start Time: 8:05 a.m. (yeah crap we were LATEEEEE !!!)
Arrival Time: 8:40 a.m. (yeah .. i know right ?!?!)
such is the unpredictabilty of traffic here... and u know.. life in general... i guess wat im trying to say is .. never take life for granted(i guess most ppl already knew that .. still a refresher course never hurt anyone :P).. coz u never know when it will bite u in the.. well.. behind.. and u wud have a large chunk missing... and well ... thts just an uncomfortable sit for the rest of ur life... and im getting carried away.. so like... bye !!
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